Buddhist Respect

From "Saffron Days in LA": Bhante Piyananda intervene on behalf of a Buddhist wife who feels smothered by Catholic husband:

...Dr. Desai was delighted to hear that I was studying Christianity at Northwestern University. At the same time, he was wondering why I was living at a Methodist seminary...I conveyed to him my desire to visit a Catholic church, so he offered to take me to one the following Sunday

...I sat with them in a front pew. I was determined to show Guari that I respected all religions; therefore, I did as the Romans did and followed along with the Catholic rituals...I kneeled with the others while she stayed stubbornly seated...

...As we drove to his home, Dr. Desai started the conversation, "Bhante, I very much respect your open tolerant outlook...Gauri, did you see how Bhante conducted himself...he is not a follower of Christ but he knows how to conduct himself in every situation."

...I replied, "Dr Desai, Guara has not been exposed to other religions...you have made going to church mandatory and she detests it...in the olden days Christian missionaries forcefully converted people with a bible and a sword...Buddha did not say that Buddhism is the only true religion in the world but rather exhorted people to accept and respect truth wherever it was found..

I found this excerpt interesting and the narrative so far in the book is engaging (always interesting to see someone adapt to a vastly different culture). First of all the notion of a member of a union forcing the other to attend services that they do not believe in or are contrary to their own religious veiwpoints is ridiculous. The fact that this poor woman was constantly brow-beaten by her husband is unfortunate but the example set by the monk, while educational, seemed focused at embarrasing Guara as well.

This hits me specifically since I ,rather unfortunately, forced my own views upon my wife early and before our marriage. It seemed important at the time but after consideration I asked much from her and should be honored that she provided her understanding and patience in the situation. I can recall the look on her face as the Greek Orthodox (I was still vaguely, but stubbornly, Christian at the time) priest pushed the conversion on her with "scary" statistics of fallen marriages and unions destroyed over a person's stubborness. If it would be anyone's stubborness it would have been mine that wrecked the deal and not hers. He even stated during the ceremony that she should wash mine and every male family member's feet.

Secondly, and most importantly, Bhanda did an amazing thing. He showed respect for another culture and religion that isn't compadible with his own and worse has, in the past and still is, actively attempting to convert Buddhists to the "proper faith".

The closing lines are something I need to keep in mind especially when dealing with the evangelicals as well as some of the more fundamental sects of Buddhism. Individuality is key in Buddhism. It was never meant to be nor was ever a "true faith" in itself. It should be viewed as a tool. A useful tool, but a tool nonetheless. It should be utilized when needed and discarded when rendered useless or broken. We don't keep old tools, they become obsolete and we replace.

Cheers,

[I hoped that this post would have been more interesting but a long day and a windowless office has slowed me down a bit]

[On a completely different note: I just skimmed over "Born In Tibet" by Chogyam Trongpa (it was in the withdrawn bin at the library). I got to the glossary at the end and noticed that under the entry for Vajrayana it stated "The highest of the Three Vehicles. The way from which, once on the path there is no turning back until enlightenment". That sounds pretty hardcore. No turning back? What is it? Enlightenment or Death? Also it cracks me up that each of the vehicles always insists that THEIRS is the highest path when in reality the path is the same...just the details differ.]