Monks must not be scolded and castigated with harsh words; nor should they be held up to scorn by having their faults pointed out. Even if they are evil men, they must not be despised and abused. No matter how bad they may seem at first, when more than four persons gather together for practice they constitute a sangha, which enriches the country. They are deserving of the upmost respect. If your disciples are in error, whether they be temple priests or senior priests, Masters or teachers, you should instruct and guide them with kindness.
Strike those who have to be struck and scold those that have to be scolded but do not allow yourself to utter words of slander or detraction....If you see the weakness of others and consider these bad and if you wish to guide such people with compassion, you must do so without speaking directly of their errors so that you do not arouse their anger.
Dogen's words were meant to keep the peace of the monastery and the sangha. He freely admits the failings and shortcomings of human beings and presents here a respectful way of confronting them. Reproach is replaced with compassion and derision is replaced with kindness.
This remains true of our online and digital sangha. We are and should be enriching those around us, including other Buddhists or those that have various misconceptions about Buddhism. This does not mean that we completely roll over and show our bellies. Strike when you need to strike and scold when you need to scold but always remember we strike and scold in order to teach and guide with compassion. Sometimes strong words are needed but they should not be meant to divide us further or to push people away.
Cheers,
This speaks to exactly a conversation I had this morning! I was accused of being "too compassionate" and that my interest in motivations and reasons give people excuses and justifications to not change.
ReplyDeleteIt did make think there might be a fine line between coddling and caring. It's become something of a koan for me to understand compassion's more yang side, the grandmotherly kindness that carries a big stick.
Anyway, I resonate with not speaking of another's error directly. Usually, this just causes someone to become defensive and everyone loses. Right speech is such a tricky thing. I almost wish we were all mute for the sake of simiplicity ;)
I am very familiar with the stick-wielding compassionate grandma.
ReplyDeleteWhen things are kept as conversations rathe than point/cointer point arguements, I think that resolutions are quick (or slow) to follow.
Thanks for your comment!
Jack