No Place Like Home - Reflections of a Zen Home Practitioner

Going Back to the Sangha -

I recall the reason why I went back to sitting with a brick and mortar sangha - the upcoming birth of my daughter about 15 months ago. During my wife's pregnancy I got an urge to get back into my practice in a very "real" way; to find people around my area that I could connect with on the level that I felt that my practice was at. This is not to say that I thought my practice was any stellar event. However, when my father refers to my practice as my daily yoga and my wife occasionally rolls her eyes when I talk about it, one comes to the conclusion that a different atmosphere and perhaps, venue, is needed. Either way, I was feeling the need to substantiate it in some way.

I did my research and looked into some area sanghas - one Tibetan, one Theravada and one Zen. I made the phone calls and asked about how each group approached their practice. Was it on a regular schedule? Lay or monastic? Was it completely independent or associated with a larger institution? Mostly meditation or devotional? Large or small group? Cost and Fees?

More importantly, how did the people feel to me when I spoke to them on the phone or in person? Lucky for me, each group was what I was looking for. Small, personal with only loose affiliations to larger centers or organizations and no or minimal costs and fees. I was taking my time, enjoying this new search and exploration. I still can not believe my luck in finding so many small, independant sanghas in my area.

My search somewhat changed when I heard on the news about a father that threw his 18 month years old baby across a room and into a wall. I knew the foster family (I worked with the foster mother) that was taking care of the child previously and they just recently had to give up the child to the actual parents who were just out of rehab. It wasn't two months later that this happened. The foster family cared deeply about the children under there care and repeatedly made mention of the fact that they believed the children to be in danger.

I don't think too many people realized how much this affected me when it occurred. I couldn't stop thinking that it could easily be me as that father. Not really that father since, he was a drug addict and just out of jail. Rather, a father that loses control, gets frustrated and in a moment of stupidity - does something horrible. I was never a violent person. Never got into fights or started altercations with people but I was always angry and intense. Would it really be that small of a leap?

The next day I walked into that little zendo and started to accelerate my practice. I never really expressed how much it would have taken me to get through those doors again otherwise. It was difficult to approach strangers about something as personal as my home-practice. But the idea that I would soon be walking into fatherhood - a situation that was completely unknown to me and with which I had no previous experience - pushed me through those doors. I started to sit again with a group and chant and engage other Buddhists. I started this blog.

When I walked into the zendo for the first time, a long-time member walked up to me and we started to talk about why I was interested in starting my practice there. I told her that I would be having a daughter soon and I wanted to prepare myself for it by engaging in public Buddhist practice again. To myself, however, I told the truth. The truth that I wanted to start out of compassion for my daughter - out of the fear that I would be as horrible as that man who threw his child.

Before we walked into the meditation room to start the first sitting the lady I was talking to mentioned that she heard that the little boy in the news that got thrown had just died from his injuries. I sat that day harder than I ever sat before or since. In between my sore ankles and burning thighs, I sat for the benefit of one sentient being that morning and have been striving ever since.

When I walked out the lady came up to me and said "I wish more fathers would sit". I agreed. The whole concept of "sitting for the benefit of all sentient beings" became slightly less esoteric that morning.

Cheers,

Saturday Morning Dharma Mouth-Punch

This is going to be a new ongoing weekly feature of my blog - The Saturday Dharma Mouth-Punch!

The concept is simple: I will review a blog -from the past week that either gave me a good Dharma punch in the face (good) or deserves a good kick in Hotei's sack (bad). Get it? It works both ways. I can either give it or receive it. I'm like a sour patch kid...I start off sour but I can be sweet in the end.

For my first run at this - I am bringing back an old favorite - Mujaku from the The Zennist. Mujaku delivered a sweet Dharma Mouth-Punch with his post on Stuart Lach's article The Zen Master in America: Dressing the Donkey with Bells and Scarves. Stuart does an amazing job of outlining, in a respectful manner, some of the more dramatic American Zen scandals as well as successfully dismantling the "Roshi Ideal" so prevalent in the West. Any practitioner of Buddhism (not just Zen) needs to read this before following any teacher, guru, roshi or rishi.

The truly amazing part about the article is that Lach actually is able to steer away from sensationalizing these scandals and succeeds in making you feel for the Roshi's own human failings (for the most part, at least). Equally amazing is that Mujaku was able to devote an entire post to someone else's opinion without bashing Western Buddhism in the process. My lip is still bleeding - The Dharma it has a killer left.

However, Mujaku is also receiving a good kick in Hotei's sack for stealing a post that I have been toying with for three months. I have been playing around with a Zen scandal post - tweaking here and editing there - and was hoping to post it soon and Mujaku just *zip* pulls the rug from under me.

Fie on you Mujaku and your beautiful post! Now go get some ice on that sack!

Cheers,

Unrequited Vipassana Love Demons

Picture from Wat Arun, Thailand

I love Brooke from Wandering Dhamma - I know it's sudden - but sometimes she blows my mind. I have never heard a more clear and concise description of the secular Buddhism as this...

Because Buddhist meditation, especially vipassana, has been divided out from and is seen as separate from the Buddhist religion, it can be considered an example of a portable and exportable version of an indigenous Asian tradition. It has become portable because of its non-specific religiosity and few institutional connections. Among Western Buddhists, vipassana meditation has been popular because it has been interpreted as having this universal, transcultural quality. This kind of thinking is certainly true in some American Buddhist circles. In Wendy Cadge’s study of a convert community in Cambridge, Massachusetts, titled Heartwood, she finds that the Buddha’s teachings are primarily conveyed through meditation instruction. Many Western vipassana meditation teachers adapt and present the teachings in a Westernized way so that practitioners often call themselves vipassana meditation students rather than students of Theravada Buddhism.

I especially like this definition which, from my experience, is how many of my Sangha-mates view Buddhism in general and Zen practice in particular (not overtly or specifically religious). This way that compartmentalized aspect of "an indigenous Asian tradition"moves into whatever devotional or cosmological framework you already have established (from your experience or upbringing). And while Brooke is primarily referencing vipassana in her post; I think that the same can be said of Zen meditation as well.

Since this portable Buddhism has sort of a luggage theme running with it, I'm not sure if I would call those that utilize meditation in the course of their spiritual and religious explorations converts. I believe I will call them Buddhist Travelers and they will be required to identify themselves by wearing pointed red hat like that gnome from the Expedia commercials.

So Brooke...I know we are both already attached but there is always reincarnation, right? Maybe we will come back as bunnies.

Too much?

Cheers,

Cookie-Cutter Buddhist Practice

All roads lead to the same mountaintop.

Be a lamp unto yourself. Work out your liberation with diligence.

We all have a responsibility; to ourselves and to others, to those we never met and those that we spend our daily lives with, to strangers and to lovers, to aspire to our own liberation. Damn, those words sound far too lofty to be coming from me. I am a bag of wind.

However, it seems to me that we are often stuck in the middle of a pissing match between opposing (really?) schools and sects. Teachers and roshis engage in a Dharma Combat that seems more appropriate for the Jerry Springer Show than for a meditation hall.

Organizational Buddhism is fine but don't get too wrapped up into the hype that it sometimes represents. When someone, Roshi or not, tells you that their path is the correct one and all others are wrong - they are stifling your growth and building their own ego. For me, the truth seems simple. The mountain has many paths to the top but not every one is right for every practitioner. We choose our own route. Take the time to learn about the other paths and incorporate what seems right into your own practice. Ignore the boundaries that the patriarchs and the past have placed upon us. Ignore whether or not it is "authentic" or not. Ignore whether or not your practice is the same practice that your sangha-mates participate in. If your practice includes other religious and spiritual outlets, then go with it.

In the long run, all of us (Roshis, monks and lay persons) are walking bags of dung but even dung-sacks deserve a practice that is individual to them. Be a Buddhist pirate and pillage these schools for what is useful to you and leave the rest. Settle down with one if you pillaging days are over but remember that it may only be temporary. It may be time to take to the seas again.

Pirates are awesome.

Cheers,

Only Half a Buddhist

A post in the blog All Considering came up with a quick and easy definition of what a "real" Buddhist is...

A real Buddhist, in my view, and in the Traditional Asian view, is someone who has taken refuge. That is, in a solemn ritual they have taken refuge in the Buddha, the Dharma and the Sangha. I have not done that so I'm not officially a Buddhist.

Really? A ceremony makes a Buddhist real? While I won't stomp over some one's opinion or their personal definitions of Buddhism, I will make an attempt to better define what a Buddhist is. Although, granted, my definition will be as flimsy as any other definition offered. It is next to impossible to say what being a Buddhist means to such a diverse group of practitioners but I can go deeper into how I define myself as a Buddhist.

The ceremonial aspect of taking refuge in the 3 Jewels is important step in the practice of Buddhism but does not define a Buddhist as real or not. Most Buddhists will take those vows eventually in the evolution of their practice but it is by no means necessary to make it "official" by involving a monk or priest or piece of paper. I made those vows for myself one morning after a horrific event in my life. The bottom of my pail fell out and it was time to refill it. I took the vows and I began daily practice and I am a Buddhist. If I took those same vows in front of a monk or priest they would have meant next to nothing compared to when I was driven through my own experience to make them. Which would make me a "real" Buddhist, I wonder.

This is not to say that the "official" taking of refuge (or the precepts or intense meditative retreats) is without merit. They serve a purpose in deepening one's commitment to their practice and to Buddhism. Also, if one is looking for guidance with their own exploration of Buddhism then it is important to ascertain whether or not a teacher is "authentic". In the end it is really up to the individual how much emphasis they put on the ritualistic or organizational aspects of Buddhist practice. I put great emphasis on the ritualistic but very little on the organizational. This is not a definite - It is just my practice now.

Whether you want to call your self a Buddhist is up to you, the individual, to decide. If you are a practicing Christian or Jew and wish to label yourself as a Buddhist as well - then by all means - Do so. If it helps your practice and understanding of the Dharma then do it. If you don't feel that the label of Buddhist is right for you or if you think that your practice is contrary to the fundamental teachings of the Buddha then do not call yourself one. It means very little to me whether or not you consider yourself a Buddhist. If you are applying the Dharma to your own life in a way that fits your life - Then I couldn't be happier.

Now, I may be mistaken but a "solemn" ritual does not necessarily entail monastic representation for one to take refuge. I take refuge daily in my own practice but I have no specific ceremonial experience to speak of. Do I really need someone to tell me that it isn't "real" unless it is witnessed by a monastic or lay-ordained practitioner? I don't try to pretend to be anything that I am not. I am not lay-ordained or a monastic and I have very little experience in the realm of monastic practice. My practice is mostly home-centered and with a small lay sangha (mostly, two are lay-ordained). This does not make my practice and experience any less relevant compared to someone with more practice in a monastic setting.

My thoughts are simple in this manner - You learn from what resources are available to you at this time in your life. Don't spend your days wishing that you had a larger sangha or a monastery close by. Or a specific school or sect that is nearer to what you think Buddhist practice should be. Use what is available to you now. Your only enemy is a lack of striving.

Its really all just tools. We are trying to build something...why would you worship the specific hammer that you are using when the big picture is the process of building. Zen is my hammer for now but it may be that sometime in the future a new tool is needed...just have to wait and see.

Cheers,

[Jack Daw is a non-lay-ordained home practitioner of Buddhism. He has no specific lineage or teacher. Instead he grabs what he can like a crow picking a carcass. He currently practices Zen but that could change as the wind does not blow from the same direction everywhere. He does however think that all beings deserve compassion. He is also fighting a three day flu and feeling quite pissy right now - but this will pass.]

Updated Bat Nha links and info

From Barbara's Buddhism Blog:

A violent mob drove Buddhist monks and nuns from Bat Nha monastery in Vietnam over the weekend, according to several news stories. Agence France-Presse reports that more than 100 monks fled Bat Nha on Sunday when a mob armed with hammers and batons showed up and threatened then. About 200 nuns left Bat Nha earlier today.

The monks and nuns of Bat Nha are followers of the internationally revered Vietnamese Zen teacher Thich Nhat Hanh. Thich Nhat Hanh fell into the bad graces of the Vietnamese government last year when he told an Italian interviewer that His Holiness the Dalai Lama should be allowed to return to Tibet. The government of China then pressured Hanoi into punishing Thich Nhat Nanh's disciples living in Vietnam.

This is less about mixing religion and politics and more about well-respected religious leaders speaking out against brutality and ignorance. Many say that Buddhism is a docile and "removed" religion but its leaders will speak out when necessary and they do so honestly. But it should always be remembered that any "state-sanctioned" religion will lead to ignorance and intolerance even under the best of circumstances. Best of luck to those monks.


For more info:

• Plum Village - Bat Nha Needs Your Help
• Mob, police force nuns to leave Vietnam monastery - Associated Press -Vietnam Buddhist Standoff
• Vietnam Buddhists flee amid threats
• The Reformed Buddhist - Vietnam Govt Raid Buddhist Monastery
• The Buddhist Blog - Urgent Help Bat Nha Monastery Emergency Angry Asian Buddhist - [check for videos] tinh hinh cac thay co het suc kho khan
• The Buddha is my DJ - Bat Nha Monastery
• The Buddhist Blog - Vietnamese Bat Nha Monastery Raid Update
• The Budding Buddhist - Urgent Update: Bat Nha Monastery

The Asian Welder and Bonfires

I woke up this morning, headed to the dump to drop off some recycling and pick up some wild plums from a friend to make plum wine when I saw a package hanging out of my mailbox. What do you suppose was within the package? Well, a brand new t-shirt from my new Sangha-sibling Hazel from "The Asian Welder" blog!

So we had a great day of curry, pho (Vietnamese Noodle Soup), spiced cider and bonfires. And I got to wear my fancy new shirt the entire time. The front says "Spark This" if you can't tell from the picture.

So, please stop by The Asian Welder, check out her work, read a little Buddhism and thank Hazel for me for sending me the sweet, sweet shirt. I can't afford to buy them new anymore so if you got a t-shirt you want me to wear about anything drop a me a line on twitter, send it to me and I'll wear it.

I am a whore for this sort of attention and frankly I love me some t-shirts...maybe next time I'll even pose sexy-like...

Cheers,