Only Half a Buddhist

A post in the blog All Considering came up with a quick and easy definition of what a "real" Buddhist is...

A real Buddhist, in my view, and in the Traditional Asian view, is someone who has taken refuge. That is, in a solemn ritual they have taken refuge in the Buddha, the Dharma and the Sangha. I have not done that so I'm not officially a Buddhist.

Really? A ceremony makes a Buddhist real? While I won't stomp over some one's opinion or their personal definitions of Buddhism, I will make an attempt to better define what a Buddhist is. Although, granted, my definition will be as flimsy as any other definition offered. It is next to impossible to say what being a Buddhist means to such a diverse group of practitioners but I can go deeper into how I define myself as a Buddhist.

The ceremonial aspect of taking refuge in the 3 Jewels is important step in the practice of Buddhism but does not define a Buddhist as real or not. Most Buddhists will take those vows eventually in the evolution of their practice but it is by no means necessary to make it "official" by involving a monk or priest or piece of paper. I made those vows for myself one morning after a horrific event in my life. The bottom of my pail fell out and it was time to refill it. I took the vows and I began daily practice and I am a Buddhist. If I took those same vows in front of a monk or priest they would have meant next to nothing compared to when I was driven through my own experience to make them. Which would make me a "real" Buddhist, I wonder.

This is not to say that the "official" taking of refuge (or the precepts or intense meditative retreats) is without merit. They serve a purpose in deepening one's commitment to their practice and to Buddhism. Also, if one is looking for guidance with their own exploration of Buddhism then it is important to ascertain whether or not a teacher is "authentic". In the end it is really up to the individual how much emphasis they put on the ritualistic or organizational aspects of Buddhist practice. I put great emphasis on the ritualistic but very little on the organizational. This is not a definite - It is just my practice now.

Whether you want to call your self a Buddhist is up to you, the individual, to decide. If you are a practicing Christian or Jew and wish to label yourself as a Buddhist as well - then by all means - Do so. If it helps your practice and understanding of the Dharma then do it. If you don't feel that the label of Buddhist is right for you or if you think that your practice is contrary to the fundamental teachings of the Buddha then do not call yourself one. It means very little to me whether or not you consider yourself a Buddhist. If you are applying the Dharma to your own life in a way that fits your life - Then I couldn't be happier.

Now, I may be mistaken but a "solemn" ritual does not necessarily entail monastic representation for one to take refuge. I take refuge daily in my own practice but I have no specific ceremonial experience to speak of. Do I really need someone to tell me that it isn't "real" unless it is witnessed by a monastic or lay-ordained practitioner? I don't try to pretend to be anything that I am not. I am not lay-ordained or a monastic and I have very little experience in the realm of monastic practice. My practice is mostly home-centered and with a small lay sangha (mostly, two are lay-ordained). This does not make my practice and experience any less relevant compared to someone with more practice in a monastic setting.

My thoughts are simple in this manner - You learn from what resources are available to you at this time in your life. Don't spend your days wishing that you had a larger sangha or a monastery close by. Or a specific school or sect that is nearer to what you think Buddhist practice should be. Use what is available to you now. Your only enemy is a lack of striving.

Its really all just tools. We are trying to build something...why would you worship the specific hammer that you are using when the big picture is the process of building. Zen is my hammer for now but it may be that sometime in the future a new tool is needed...just have to wait and see.

Cheers,

[Jack Daw is a non-lay-ordained home practitioner of Buddhism. He has no specific lineage or teacher. Instead he grabs what he can like a crow picking a carcass. He currently practices Zen but that could change as the wind does not blow from the same direction everywhere. He does however think that all beings deserve compassion. He is also fighting a three day flu and feeling quite pissy right now - but this will pass.]

Updated Bat Nha links and info

From Barbara's Buddhism Blog:

A violent mob drove Buddhist monks and nuns from Bat Nha monastery in Vietnam over the weekend, according to several news stories. Agence France-Presse reports that more than 100 monks fled Bat Nha on Sunday when a mob armed with hammers and batons showed up and threatened then. About 200 nuns left Bat Nha earlier today.

The monks and nuns of Bat Nha are followers of the internationally revered Vietnamese Zen teacher Thich Nhat Hanh. Thich Nhat Hanh fell into the bad graces of the Vietnamese government last year when he told an Italian interviewer that His Holiness the Dalai Lama should be allowed to return to Tibet. The government of China then pressured Hanoi into punishing Thich Nhat Nanh's disciples living in Vietnam.

This is less about mixing religion and politics and more about well-respected religious leaders speaking out against brutality and ignorance. Many say that Buddhism is a docile and "removed" religion but its leaders will speak out when necessary and they do so honestly. But it should always be remembered that any "state-sanctioned" religion will lead to ignorance and intolerance even under the best of circumstances. Best of luck to those monks.


For more info:

• Plum Village - Bat Nha Needs Your Help
• Mob, police force nuns to leave Vietnam monastery - Associated Press -Vietnam Buddhist Standoff
• Vietnam Buddhists flee amid threats
• The Reformed Buddhist - Vietnam Govt Raid Buddhist Monastery
• The Buddhist Blog - Urgent Help Bat Nha Monastery Emergency Angry Asian Buddhist - [check for videos] tinh hinh cac thay co het suc kho khan
• The Buddha is my DJ - Bat Nha Monastery
• The Buddhist Blog - Vietnamese Bat Nha Monastery Raid Update
• The Budding Buddhist - Urgent Update: Bat Nha Monastery

The Asian Welder and Bonfires

I woke up this morning, headed to the dump to drop off some recycling and pick up some wild plums from a friend to make plum wine when I saw a package hanging out of my mailbox. What do you suppose was within the package? Well, a brand new t-shirt from my new Sangha-sibling Hazel from "The Asian Welder" blog!

So we had a great day of curry, pho (Vietnamese Noodle Soup), spiced cider and bonfires. And I got to wear my fancy new shirt the entire time. The front says "Spark This" if you can't tell from the picture.

So, please stop by The Asian Welder, check out her work, read a little Buddhism and thank Hazel for me for sending me the sweet, sweet shirt. I can't afford to buy them new anymore so if you got a t-shirt you want me to wear about anything drop a me a line on twitter, send it to me and I'll wear it.

I am a whore for this sort of attention and frankly I love me some t-shirts...maybe next time I'll even pose sexy-like...

Cheers,

Dirty Watches and Filthy Buddha-Nature

From Zen Flesh Zen Bones:

• 29. No Water, No Moon
  
  When the nun Chiyono studied Zen she was unable to attain the fruits of meditation for a long time.
  
  At last one moonlit night she was carrying water in an old pail bound with bamboo. The bamboo broke and the bottom fell out of the pail, and at that moment Chiyono was set free.
  
  In this way I tried to save the old pail
  Since the bamboo strip was weakening and about to
  break.
  Until at last the bottom fell out.
  No more water in the pail!
  No more moon in the water!
  
  

This reminds me of my own eventual conversion to Buddhism - years of study (in a laid-back bedside table sort of manner) which led up to one explosive moment when the bottom of my pail broke and all the water ran out. That explosive part of anyone's conversion is a stressful and sometimes painful one but one that needs to occur. The reasons will differ from person to person but in the same way an addict needs to hit rock-bottom to see the top - I needed to see my world of attachment for what it was.

In Rinzai Zen this moment can be described as...

A revolutionary experience and insight capable of shattering all categories of thought and sweeping away all academic exercises and turning the world upside down...like a time bomb ticking in the depths of consciousness... [Once Born, Twice Born Zen]

This experience can not be realized until the tension, frustration, doubt and confusion in one's life hits a boiling point - a point where the vessel can no longer contain it - it is kensho or bust! In Soto Zen a less dramatic approach is taken with an...

Enjoyment of one's intrinsic Buddha-Nature...allowing this Buddha-Mind to well up and flow through all areas of one's consciousness and life. One does not begin by building up a strong sense of false and illusory ways of thinking and being, but a positive sense of fundamental well-being...[Once Born, Twice Born Zen]

Most converts fall along the spectrum of these two extremes - maybe not necessarily in Zen practice, itself - but as a gradual move from something else to Buddhism through a nurturing of the Buddha-mind or a drastic switch due to the bottom falling out.

I look at this moment as a convert's initial piece of enlightenment - a fleeting, brief glimpse of kensho as the bottom of our bucket falls out and everything rushes out leaving a husk of the former vessel. Momentarily, unable to hold anything or be filled up again. It doesn't last a long time but whether gradual or sudden we do feel a sense of the absolute at that moment of conversion...at least I did.

Mine was both sudden and gradual. A gradual and slight nurturing of the Buddha-nature (as well as the increases in tension, confusion, frustration and pain) enveloped in all of that samsaric nonsense. Hidden from view but growing slowly. However, at that moment of sudden emptying, the Buddha-nature stands very clear and apparent. But only for a moment. A convert's brief picture of enlightenment. The crack-cocaine of Buddhism.

So now that we've seen that jewel and acknowledge and take refuge in it. What do we do with it? The image of a jewel to be polished through practice somewhat goes against my sensibilities. With practice we keep that jewel bright and shiny - radiating out for the world to see. Blah! My jewel, my Buddha-mind, is dingy and tarnished with experience. Unlike a piece of jewelry, my Buddha-nature isn't for public consumption - for others to see and gawk at. It doesn't need to shine forth and glow since I already know that it is there. My wife bought me a turquoise and silver watch for my 30th birthday. It was far too expensive but my wife knew that I would need something to mark that turning point in my life.

Tradition is that a watch such as that is never cleaned or polished. It gathers the dirt and the dust of its owner and it tells a story. My watch has got bits of shale from my summer field work and specks of epoxy and glue from working in the lab. It has blood and has been broken a few times. Fixed but never cleaned. That grime tells a story of where I have been, just like the hands of a mechanic or farmer or accountant - grease and oil, dirt and much, smudges and ink.

A face well-worn from the sun and wind or smooth. It doesn't matter. My Buddha-nature sat and grew slowly, unrealized, through many mistakes and errors of my life and emerged briefly to mark its presence when my bottom fell out. I will nurture it but I refuse to clean it - Refuse to ignore and forget what brought on its appearence. My Buddha-nature will hold those scars of my youth and marks of my old age, my triumphs and my failures. Like my watch that will pass to my daughter after my time with it is done so will my Buddha-nature to the next - both with traces of Pierre Shale and blood, ink and tears, failures and successes.

Cheers,

Sake and Beer Brewing Update

Both bottles of sake - Left is filtered once and right is twice filtered - Notice that the left still has sediment at bottle's bottom.

No Buddhism here this morning, just and update on the brewing of sweet sake and Chai Beer.

Sake Update:

Well, its been a couple of weeks since I started my batch of sake. Above is our co-brewmaster El Blanco Grande and he is holding our fermenter full of rice/koji/yeast slurry. It smells delightful but I may not have steamed some of the rice fully before transfering it to the fermenter - many individual grains are still noticeable. Don't be fooled by the perspective in the picture - that jug hold 5 gallons - El Blanco Grande is just that massive.

The pouring, pasteurizing and filtering of the sake slurry. I learning something new - If you want crystal clear sake (or at least close) add 5 coffee filters to a funnel and pour the liquid through it. It will take forever to filter through but it will come out pretty damn clear. I'm still playing around with methods to get it clearer. Also you could possible just filter once and let it settle for a day in a secondary container and then filter again.

Chai Beer Update:

Looks good. Tastes good and is being moved into the secondary fermenter for another 10 days. Then bottled and conditioned for 3 weeks. If it is tasty and delightful after that time I will post the recipe and about my winter brewing project. Traditional Viking Beer brewed "traditionally" - smoked grains over birch, juniper filter and horned hats. I see the possibility of massive failure in this one but I am excited to spend several hours outside smoking the grains.

Virtual dharma resources for REAL practice

In an effort to help some of those home-practitioners that don't have access to a physical sangha or zendo and rely almost completely on home practice to study the Dharma and further their own growth, I though I would list some of the online resources out there. There are plenty of others out there but these came to mind....

• White Wind Zen Community Long Distance Training Program - The practice of Zen is experiential and instruction is based on your actual experience of doing the practice. As soon as possible after reading the transcript and sitting for a full half hour according to the instructions it contains, please write to the monastery to let us know that you read the "Beginner's Mind Workshop" transcript, sat and would like to receive further instruction. Please include in your email some detail concerning what you experienced while sitting and write out any questions that came up. Your email will be answered by a practice advisor or a Dharma Teacher in residence at Dainen-ji and this will be the beginning of an exchange for the purpose of clarifying your understanding of Zen practice so that you can eventually apply as a public student of Ven. Anzan Hoshin roshi.

• Treeleef Zendo - This zendo is dedicated to students of Zen Buddhism who cannot travel to a zen center or who otherwise wish personal contact with a zen teacher... [a full review of this site is here]
  

• Wild Fox Zen Blog - The Moon Reflected in the Water: 100 Day Practice Period begins on Saturday for those practicing from afar. The expectations might seem a bit more than you can handle - zazen, Heart Sutra, study, webinar, capping phrases - and if you think so, it might be just right....Anyway, there is still a seat open for you in the virtual practice zendo. If you want to jump in, shoot me an email (wildfoxzen@gmail.com) or register via Facebook by Wednesday. No previous practice period experience necessary. [I think this session is closed but they seem to be willing to do this again, I hope].

• 108 Days - Follow along with the posts for 108 days of meditation. No longer an active blog so engagement is limited but a good way to slide into a daily routine.

• AudioDharma - The Insight Meditation Center (IMC) is a community-based urban meditation center for the practice of Vipassana or Insight meditation. We are a non-residential center in Redwood City, California, dedicated to the study and practice of Buddhist teachings. IMC offers a broad range of practice and community activities. This includes a weekly schedule of meditation sessions, dharma talks (talks on Buddhist teaching and practice), classes, group discussions, yoga practice and a variety of meditation and study retreats. IMC began in 1986 as a gathering of individuals who meet in order to learn, support and deepen their mindfulness practice. It is an informal group, and those interested in mindfulness meditation are heartily welcome to participate whenever they wish. IMC does not require payment for any of our teachings or meetings. The support of our teachers and all our center expenses is done through the voluntary donations of our community. The group is guided by Gil Fronsdal. [Gil may be the closest thing to a bodhisattva that I will ever meet...the man kicks ass]

• BuddhaNet - Its got everything you would ever need, I think, for a full home practice. Sans an actual teacher. [Enough info to make your brain go *pop*!]

• Podcasts - DharmaRealm, Ancient Dragon Zen Gate Dharma Talks, Buddhist Geeks, Rochester Zen Center Teisho, San Fransisco Zen Center Public Lectures, ZenCast [Just a few of my favorites. Plenty more out there from reliable zendos and practice centers. Most have online newsletters too]

• Blogs - Plenty but start at digitalZENDO and The Zennist for an example of two polar opposites in a broad array of fantastic blogs out there. [I can't even start too explain how many are out there but I like these two since they give two very different views of Buddhist and Zen practice]

• Alan Ashley recommends WildMind Buddhist Meditation Resources and Free Buddhist Audio. Thanks!

• Thank you Adam for the recommendation of Urdan Dharma
  

This list is by no means meant to be extensive and it is skewed towards Zen practice by Buddhists on Purpose (lol, hilarious term. Makes me think of "Pigs in Space") but if you know of any other resources please list them in the comments and I'll toss them in...

Cheers and welcome to Buddhist Purgatory (I should rename my blog that, Thanks Kyle!),

Silent Chanting

One of my biggest concerns when I began an actual flesh and blood sangha practice was the prospect of chanting aloud. I have sat in meditation for years (not in one stretch) and was comfortable with that aspect of public practice. The altar opening, ritual, bowing and prostrations were equally familiar to me since I spent years performing them on my own in my home. I did not feel self-conscious or nervous about applying in public what I already did at home for a number of years.

Chanting on the other hand, I approached with extreme trepidation. On the surface level, there was the fact that some of the chants were in Japanese or Sanskrit that led to my nervousness. I screwed up the pronunciation of many of the Japanese phonemes or would get lost on the page as my eyes struggled to keep up with the chanting and my brain was lagging far behind in reminding my lips which phonemes were pronounce in which ways.

But language was really only scratching the surface. The material contained in the "Pure Land" sutras seemed shockingly similar to the prayers that were offered in a Christian prayer. It felt like I was asking or beseeching some outer-worldly power to intervene in my behalf. It was not aiding me in focusing on my practice at all. In fact, it was doing the opposite.

Until I ran across this explaination by Ven. Anzan Hoshin roshi that helped put this into perspective:

In chanting practice you needn’t be shy, needn’t hold back and whisper. You’re not praying to gods or angels or Buddhas. You are manifesting the power and integrity of breath, sound, and posture as this sound of the moment. Allow the sound to swell from the hara in your lowest natural voice register. Abandon hesitation and self-consciousness and feel the sounds vibrating in belly, throat, and mouth. Feel air as breath being drawn in and released as sound. Penetrate the ten directions with this chanting and wake up all beings by exerting both the dignity of the words and the dignity of your expression of them.

Just as when I focus my breathing while meditating, I began to focus on my breathing while chanting. The actual words became less and less important as they became more internalized in to my routine. I would start chanting and continue without reading the words or even thinking about the words as they came out of my mouth. My voice is still horrible and I fumble (horribly) over the Japanese sometimes but I rarely even care. I like to yell. Its fun. And it has no focus beyond the pushing of the air out of this poor wind bag.

The mind is clear and traceless, it does not ponder the meaning of the words as you chant. An alert posture, pure intention, and moment to moment awareness actualize the meaning of the words.

"Pure Land" sutras or not. It doesn't matter as much anymore. I may not particularly "like" a particular sutra for some reason but in essence reciting it is the same as reciting any other one - its just air being pushed from my lungs.

Focus on the sutra's whole presence first, then focus on the words that come and then on the sounds that arise, leave your mouth and disperse. Soon, you don't even hear the words anymore, they don't matter. Just like the ringing of a bell, the sound is impermanent and drifts into silence - You know that they were there but they're is no evidence of there presence. In understanding the origin and trajectory of those sounds we pay homage to our own innate Buddha-Nature. It doesn't matter what the content is or if the language is familiar or not. It all breaks down in the same way. They all disperse into silence. We chant silence.

Chanting, allow this jewel to shine and, in so doing, see that the jewel has no boundaries and is never limited by any single facet or reflection of light. The Four Great Vows are the essence of the Bodhisattva’s energy, the Heart sutra the Bodhisattva’s mind and so on. Express and actualize these in each sound, each moment of chanting, sitting, walking, working, breathing. In so doing, liberate all beings, all times, all directions, all sounds, all breaths.

Cheers,